State of Origin

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At this time of the year, there is an epic battle that stops most of Australia in its tracks. It’s called the State of Origin. Don’t quote me on this but I think it started when NSW clubs had endless funds and enticed the best Queenslander to New South Wales teams – then skited that they could beat Queensland. Someone (no doubt a Queenslander) suggested that results would be different if each player played for the state where they started - their state of origin.

 Even I watch State of Origin. I think It is amazing what people will do for fun. Not just the players but hundreds, maybe thousands of people huddling under huge coats and rugs, in wind and rain and freezing weather, watching 26 grown men chase a little ball around a field.  For fun! Initially, I found it hard to work out what was happening so I went home and did some study. Correct me if I’m wrong but I think I’ve got this game of Rugby League worked out.

You’ve probably at some time in your life used the expression, as round as a ball. Well, in Rugby League, the ball isn’t round. The ball is carried and thrown more than it’s kicked or bounced. So, it’s been made oval to make it easier for the players to catch and carry the ball. (Is this too technical for you?)

The main aim of the game is to get the ball over the goal line or kick it between the posts more often that the other team does. The secondary aim is to prevent the opposing team from doing just that.

This requires two teams of players who wear co-coordinating or contrasting coloured jerseys and often white shorts. Believe me no woman, with or without a washing machine, decided on the white shorts! It seems that it nearly always rains on games. Most of the players spend as much time rolling around on the ground as running around. Before long, they might as well be wearing black anyhow. (Just a suggestion to the fashion co-coordinator!)

It has been said that this is a rough and brutal game. Not so, there is plenty of hugging and rolling around together on the ground. It may not be immediately obvious but players, when they are on their feet, do have specific positions on the field. There are the forwards for example. They are the biggest and hairiest. Sometimes when they are rolling around and hugging each other, the hairs on their legs get tangled and they have to have a tug-of-war called a scrum to pull themselves apart.  In a scrum, all heads go down into unmentionable places and everybody breathes deeply. The team that can survive the stench longest is the winner.

Each team has a little guy called a hooker (no, not that kind of hooker – they aren’t that sort of guys).  He hangs around in the middle of the scrum struggling for breath. Somehow in the frantic struggle, the ball eventually comes out of the scrum and gets passed to the backs! Pass is another of those technical terms. It means Throw.

The backs are supposedly faster and lighter.  They have to have ‘good hands’ which makes them useful on the field and appealing to women off the field.  The player with the ball surges forward and either passes the ball to a team mate or is tackled and falls to the ground. After years of being knocked down, they usually suffer brain damage and are then moved into the front row. When the damage is irreversible, they retire from the game and become sports commentators or even politicians,

Eventually someone dives or falls over the line with the ball under control. Because he has tried so hard, this is called a Try. It is obviously something of a miracle so one of the more religious players is called on to convert it. If that fails, he just kicks it through the goal posts and they call it a Conversion anyhow.

Some people think that players are in the sport for the exercise or the prestige or even the money. Wrong! Footballers are agents of social change. For example, the Rugby League game is used as a training for the blind. Every week some lucky blind person is selected to train with the team. Instead of carrying a white cane, he dresses differently from the teams. He is expected to keep up with the players by listening to the grunts and thuds and snapping bones. If he gets left behind, he blows his whistle and everyone politely stops and waits for him. Sometimes he gets so good that people forget that he’s blind and call out such things as One Eyed Ref. It’s funny, they all get called Ref – stands for Restricted Eye Fixations, or something.

For many people, football players achieve hero status. I talked to a young woman recently who has called her baby son Thurston, in honour of some player. While they are players, they have a devoted following which continues into retirement. Some remain famous to the end and some are revered so much that when they die, they are buried in special graves ten feet deep because Rugby League players are great guys – deep down!!