Bark Properly

I am not a Dr Doolittle type. I don't talk to animals any more than I am likely to talk to trees or rocks. I must admit that I roll my eyes in disbelief when I hear grown humans talking to and about their animals. 'Who's Mummy's good boy then?' 'Give Mummy (or Daddy) a kiss.' Look at my little Arthur. Isn't he just so beautiful?' If I called my friend a bitch, she would be offended but she says to a dog, 'Come to Mummy.' Just what is a dog's mother called?

So, I couldn't believe my ears when I heard myself yell to the dog next door. 'Bark properly, you stupid animal!' When there is nobody at home, the dog barks - soft, pause, loud, short pause, short woof, over and over. There is only so much a neighbor can endure on a sleepless night!                woof .....WOOF ..oo.....woof .....WOOF ..oo

Not only that, I am talking to ants. I have a constant stream of them in my kitchen. I can watch for hours as they run up and down the wall.There seem to be protocols they all observe. Those going up, pause and seem to touch those who are going down. It seems a task is assigned to a certain number of ants. There might be a dozen carrying a crumb up the wall. No more join them, though they may slip back and make negative progress over a long period of time. Others just scurry past and leave them to their effort. I often tell them that I admire their tenacity. However, if they gather on a plate waiting to be washed, I have no qualms about washing them down the plug hole with hot soapy water. I do extend my condolences, though, as I send them on their way.

I suppose we all respond to the enforced isolation of Coronavirus in different ways. For those who spend most or all of their year on the road, it may be particularly stressful. The internet is awash with memes.  I have taken a few onboard. I like the reminder given in: You are not stuck at home; you are safe at home. I have also embraced the fact that language influences our reactions. I tell myself that I am not isolated, I am enjoying solitude.

We are being brainwashed into thinking we should be busy and productive all the time we are confined to our homes. We are bombarded with suggestions for filling our time - classes, dance parties, exercise groups, movies, new hobbies. We have to go, go, go!

As Solo travellers, we know that it not true. While we travel, we are experts at doing nothing. We can sit by our motorhomes and watch clouds drifting by, listen to the call of birds, and dream of places to go and people to see. We know that doing nothing is often exactly what our souls and bodies need, and we do it well. We can do it just as well at home.

My recommendation to my fellow Solos is, don’t let the world, the media, your neighbours and friends convince you that have to be constantly active. Just remember that times of quiet and reflection also refresh the body and the soul. And besides, we have earned the right not to listen to other people, not to follow their suggestions and not to do even one thing that we don’t want to. So, go ahead. Do as much or as little as you feel like. Be slothful if that’s what you want – and call it communing with your inner self! That is being productive, in my book.

Just to stay in touch with those who are spending more time at home than they want to, I asked for ideas of how to fill the long days. I was bombarded with suggestions and am including some but, remember, these are only for those who feel compelled to do something. 

• ·         Put your camera onto video mode and take friends on a guided tour of your garden, or your pantry or your make-up cupboard.
• ·         Choose a theme and dress for the occasion each day.
• ·         Play Naughts and Crosses with your teddy bear or an imaginary friend. Don’t cheat.
• ·         Freeze your car keys into a block of ice so you are not tempted to go out. (Maybe freeze your snacks as well.)
• ·         Register with AA and WW in preparation for the end of isolation.
• ·         Clean the pockets of the driver’s door of your motorhome. If you find a box of matches, check the tread depth in your tyres. Make a collage from chocolate wrappers found there.
• ·         Take photos of the interior of your MH, print them out and display them around your house.
• ·         Take a list like this and add to it daily. When you get to 50 items, post it on Facebook.

I have cheated a bit and taken photos of what I might have done if I had been stirred to action.Don't believe everything you see - technology is a wonderful thing!

Dressing up or my normal persona?
Note the white wig

Registering for AA and WW
Note the ginger wig

Playing naughts and crosses with Teddy.
Note the grey wig

Arranging my hair products in optimistic anticipation
Note the absence of wig